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Help, Mr Perfect! I'm stuck!

时间:2009-12-01 22:38来源:21ST CENTURY 作者:admin 点击:
Help, Mr Perfect! I'm stuck! 70 后剩女:物质与爱情可否兼得? 导读:她们拥有高学历、高收入、高智商,她们的长相也无可挑剔。但是,看似完美的她们却成了人们口中的 剩女 (3S lady) 。人海茫茫,要找到一个终生伴侣真的那么难么?时光流逝, 剩女 们又是

 


 

Help, Mr Perfect! I'm stuck!

70后剩女:物质与爱情可否兼得?

导读:她们拥有高学历、高收入、高智商,她们的长相也无可挑剔。但是,看似完美的她们却成了人们口中的剩女”(3S lady)。人海茫茫,要找到一个终生伴侣真的那么难么?时光流逝,剩女们又是否会迫于形势而降低自己的择偶标准呢?看看专业人士是怎么分析的吧!

 

俗话说的好,凡是有钱的单身汉,总是想讨个老婆的。同理,有能力且经济独立的单身女性也得找个老公。不幸的是,在中国,符合上述条件的,奔三或30出头的女性却很难觅得老公。 SINGLE men in possession of a good fortune, it's said, must be in want of a wife. Likewise, skilled, financially independent single women must need a husband. Unfortunately, in China, husbands are hard to come by for such women in their late 20s and early 30s.

 

通常,我和男性约会时会从几个方面来衡量他,”27岁的北京某公司销售经理郝红蕊说,帅气的外表,宽敞的房子和高档小汽车,这些都很重要。但是,郝红蕊解释到,婚姻不能仅仅建立在这些条件之上。 "When I date a man, I calculate his worth in points," said Hao Hongrui, a 27-year-old trade manager in Beijing. "A handsome face, a big house and a fancy car are important." But Hao explains, marriage can't be founded only on these qualities.

 

她曾遇到过物质条件很好的男性,但两人间却毫无爱情可言。因此,也就没有结婚的可能。 She has met people who satisfy all her tangible needs, but there is no love between them. So, there's no real possibility of marriage.

 

最近,中国新闻社的一则报道称,北京有约50万名年龄在2550岁之间的女性属于剩女或称3S女性--单身,70年代生人,不知所措。她们中的大多数都拥有一份体面的工作,经济独立。她们希望自己的丈夫同她们水平相当或比她们更为成功。她们渴望爱情,却碍于某些原因而无法恋爱。 A China News Service report recently described the roughly half-million single women aged 25-50 living in Beijing as shengnü (leftover women), or "3S" women - single, seventies (most shengnü born in the 1970s) and stuck. Most have decent jobs and are financially independent. They expect a husband to be equally as or more successful than they are. They want to fall in love, but for some reason they can't.

 

中国社会科学院社会学研究所研究员王振宇表示,这些女性之所以单身是因为她们想要找比自己强的另一半。 Wang Zhenyu, a researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences' sociology institute, says many of these women remain single because they're looking for a partner who is even better than they are.

 

王振宇还说:随着年龄的增长,她们的容忍力更差,更不愿妥协。因此,能满足她们要求的男性就变得更少了。” "As such women grow older, their tolerance drops and they are less willing to compromise," said Wang. "Thus, the number of men who meet their requirements gradually grows smaller."

 

新浪网6月份的一份调查显示,参与调查的5000名网民中有37.5%的人认为剩女嫁不出去的主要原因是过度理想化,总期待找到像白马王子一样的完美男人。 According to a June survey by Sina.com, 37.5 percent of the nearly 5,000 netizens queried consider "looking for a perfect man" the main obstacle that keeps young women single.

 

我在寻找一位我真正欣赏的人。我希望他人很聪明,有幽默感而且工作上进,”30岁的高级销售经理李媛说。她的月薪超过2万元。 "I'm looking for someone I really admire. I hope he can be smart, humorous and devoted to his work," said Li Juan, a 30-year-old senior sales manager who says she earns over 20,000 yuan per month.

 

学者们将这种过度的理想化归咎于传统观念。王振宇说:中国的传统观念强调一种男性主宰的社会体系。因此,人们认为男人在任何领域都理应比女人优秀。当然了,外表除外。” Scholars attribute such expectations to tradition. "Traditional Chinese values emphasize a patriarchal social system," said Wang. "Men are supposed to perform better than woman in every area, except appearance."

 

女性地位的上升 Rising power

 

然而,专家们也表示,中国日新月异的社会风俗正将这种传统淘汰出局。2007年国务院报告显示,约一半(47%)的在校大学生是女性。 Experts say, however, that China's changing social landscape is rendering such traditions obsolete. According to a report from the State Council in 2007, women now account for nearly half (47 percent) of all university students.

 

很明显,女性在中国社会中的地位正在提升,华南师范大学高等教育学院院长张敏强说。 "Obviously, women are becoming a stronger power in Chinese society," said Zhang Minqiang, director of the Advanced Education Institute at South China Normal University.

 

作为独生子女,她们从小就时刻准备着担负起相关的责任。张敏强还说,激烈的竞争和快节奏的现代生活更加深了这种观念。然而,也正是这种独立的观念可能使某些男性望而却步。 As the only child in their house, they've been preparing to shoulder responsibilities since childhood. The fierce competition and rapid pace of modern life strengthens this mindset, said Zhang. Yet it's precisely this more independent mindset that could be scaring some men away.

 

在她们眼中,男人找老婆的前提是要有房有车。但问题是如果这些我都有了,为什么不去找一个更年轻的(女人)呢?”29岁的深圳商人司徒紫衣说。而且,如果我和一个比我还成功的女性约会,其他人会用一种奇怪的眼光看我。” "In their mind, men must have an apartment and a car before looking for a wife. But if I've already got those, why shouldn't I choose a younger woman?" said Situ Ziyi, a 29-year-old businessman in Shenzhen. "And if I date a woman who is more successful than me, others might look at me in a strange way."

 

永不妥协 No compromise

 

虽然她们的婚姻前景并不明朗,剩女们仍坚守她们的原则:她们不愿降低标准。 Even though their marriage prospects look gloomy, shengnü are sticking to their guns: They are reluctant to lower their standards.

 

上海社会科学院婚姻专家徐安琪认为,奔三和30出头的单身女性很理性,但有时过于功利。她说:超过25岁的女性不会仅仅因为热情和冲动而结婚。她们很清楚自己想从这种关系中得到什么。” Xu Anqi, a marriage expert at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, says single women in their late 20s and early 30s are "rational, but sometimes utilitarian". "Women above 25 usually don't get married out of simple passion and impulse," she said. "They know clearly what they want from the relationship."

 

王振宇认为一个超过25岁的女性决定继续保持单身并没有什么错。甚至,这很可能是中国社会的一个新潮流Researcher Wang Zhenyu believes there's nothing wrong if a woman over 25 decides to remain single. Or rather, it's "a new trend in Chinese society".

 

她说,女性有追求幸福和决定生活方式的权利,不要再受传统婚姻观念的束缚。 Women should feel free to pursue happiness and live as they choose, instead of being confined by traditional marriage values, she said.

 

她还补充说:中国社会正在试着尊重她们的个人决定,整个社会也会变得更加宽容。” "Chinese society is learning to respect their individual choices and become more tolerant," she added.

 

                                   (Translator & Editor: Sylvie AND Aaron)

 

 

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